I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
