i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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