I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
