This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
