Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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