mondays should just be called national damage control day
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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