one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
babies were throwing up all over the place
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
