Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
