In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
