My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize