During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
