my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
