How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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