I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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