Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're so nebulous sometimes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
