what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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