I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
