the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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