Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
