Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
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throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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