batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think i have herpe
just one?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
