I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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