Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's shark week go big or go home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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