Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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