I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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