good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i have two assholes
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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