I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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