i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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