I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
