I hate your face
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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