i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
