Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
