You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
