I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
