After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
