i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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