okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
