yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
