these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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