the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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