My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
