apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
