Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
