Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize