She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
