My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
