In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
