It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
