I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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