Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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