It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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