Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
