You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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