omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
3 2 1 whiskey
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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