I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize