mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
