I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
