I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
