so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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