I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
