At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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