hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
