omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
