Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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