This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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