When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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