I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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