we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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