Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
