Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
