Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
