Quick, to the slutcave!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize